Five Times Natara Williams Died
by Vivere Sine Timore
Summary: ... and one time she didn't.
1. Shot in the Dark

Heya! Welcome to this magical world where I kill Natara five times and then let her live once. What can I say? My forte is fics where someone dies. Anyway, I'll have a few different pairings in here, just for kicks. Enjoy!

Title: Shot in the Dark  
>Pairing: MalNatara  
>Words: 718<p>

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><p>Liam Hale could have been your ordinary American guy. He was twenty-six years old and about 6 foot 3, brown hair, blue eyes. He loved dogs, adored his parents, and cared for his little sister. He worked hard at his job, respected his coworkers, he even liked his boss. And every Friday night, he would always go out with his friends for a drink or two.<p>

This Friday, though, they had one too many. If you asked him, he would not have been able how he ended up out on the street with a gun in his hand. He would not have been able to tell you where her got the gun, or why it was pressed to Mal Fallon's head.

"Sir, please," Mal said, placing his hands behind his head. "I don't know what happened to you, but killing me wouldn't do you any good. I have a wife; she's just around that corner. Trust me, you don;t want to let her see this because she will get pissed like nothing you've ever seen before. We're both cops, you see."

"Shut up!" Liam slurred. "Just shut your goddamn mouth!" He pressed the gun harder against Mal's temple, and Mal winced.

"My name is Mal," he said, ignoring what Liam said. "I was born June 9th, 1978. I have a sister and a niece down in Centerscore. My wife's name is Natara, and we've only been married a few months."

"I don't care," Liam said. "I know what you're trying to do. I saw this on Oprah. By telling me about your family you think I won't kill you. Well you're wrong." Mal closed his eyes as her heard the sound of a safety being removed. He couldn't believe he was being threatened with his own gun.

"Hey!" Natara's voice made his eyes snap open again. He spun toward the sound of her voice, a warning already forming on his lips, but his voice was drowned out by the sound of a shot.

He watched in horror as bright crimson blood splattered across her shirt. Natara's eyes opened wide in shock, and she clutched at the hole in her stomach before her knees gave out beneath her. Mal yanked down on Liam's arm, knocked the gun out of his hand, and sent his elbow flying into his face. he heard his nose break with a satisfying crack, then ran to his wife's side.

"Natara," he cried, pressing down on the wound. Natara blinked a few times, trying to clear the moisture from them. "Hold on. Stay with me. Just hold on." Sirens filled the still air, and Natara tried her best to focus on the sound of them drawing nearer and nearer.

"Mal," she whimpered, "it hurts."

"I know," he said softly. "I know it does, sweetheart. But you need to stay awake." Natara nodded, but her eyes started to drift closed. Mal gathered her body in his arms and cradled her against his own, concerned about the amount of blodd she was losing.

"Come on, Natara. Keep your eyes open." He grabbed her hand and wrapped it in his, and he squeezed it a few times. A small smile formed on her lips, but Mal could see that she was fading fast. He clutched her tighter and prayed that she could hold on long enough.

"Mal," she breathed against his neck, "I love you."

"I love you too," he said, shifting her so he could see her face. "I'll always love you." Natara coughed violently, and Mal became alarmed as he watched a small trickle of blood leaking from the corner of her mouth. He began to rock her back and forth as the darkness creeping in the corners of her eyes swooped forward and she went still.

When the paramedics arrived, they were greeted by a heart-breaking sight. Mal still knelt on the ground, cradling Natara's frighteningly pale body. Her lips were stained by a smear of blood, and Mal's lips matched hers. He made strange whimpering sounds as he gazed at her motionless form, then looked up at the paramedics.

"She's gone," he whispered brokenly.


	2. There's Always More Time

Title: There's Always More Time  
>Pairing: NataraOC  
>Words: 926<p>

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><p>Mal stole a glance at Natara from across the bullpen. She had a barely-there smile plastered to her face, and he knew she was thinking about her latest beau, Johnson or Jackson or whatever his name was. He looked away sadly, just missing the glance Natara sent his way. He picked up his discarded pen and reluctantly began working on the mountain of paperwork in front of him.<p>

Out of the corner of his eye, he saw What's-His-Face stroll casually through the station doors and walk over to Natara's desk, she he planted a quick kiss to her cheek and dropped a brown bag on her desk. His heart sank as he recognized the logo of their favorite chinese take-out restaurant and glared at the piece of paper in front of him when they began eating.

He kenw it was selfish, but he missed the days when he and Natara would sneak in some chinese take-out and eat lunch together as they worked on a case. He wanted her to look at him the same way she looked at her boyfriends. He wanted to be her boyfriend.

Sometimes he just had to laugh at his horrible timing. As soon as he was finally able to admit that he's in love with her, Natara goes and starts dating someone else. He laughed at himself inwardly. Of course. These things always happened to him.

_'It's just not the right time for us,' _he reasoned. There would eventually come the time when it was right for them. The would always be more time. He just had to be patient.

The station doors swung open and a man stepped in. He had one hand in his jacket pocket and looked distressed. Bartaugh strode up to him, a friendly smile on his face.

"Can I help you sir?" The man's face turned dark as he scowled at the young cop.

"No," he said, anger tinging his voice, "you can't." There was the sound of a shot, a yelp of pain, and then Bartaugh was on his back on the floor in a pool of his own blood. The man then proceeded to open fire on the rest of the squadroom. Mal swore and ducked behind his desk long enough to retireve his gun.

"Son of a..." he muttered to himself. He heard three more shots being fired, and the water cooler next to his desk exploded. There were cries of pain, fear and confusion as officers threatened the man and ordered him to drop the gun. But the shot continued.

Mal quickly stood, gun aimed straight for the man. "Drop it now!" he bellowed. The man slowly turned to face him, his head cocked like a curious child. He slowly raised the gun, and Mal saw his finger tense on the trigger. They both pulled at the same time, a deafening roar filling the room. The shooter dropped to the ground, moaning as he clutched at his bleeding stomach. Mal lowered his gun slowly, still on edge from the shooting. He looked around surveying the damage.

A few unharmed officers had rushed to Bartaugh's side. He was hurt, but it wasn't a mortal wound. There were pained cries as blood leaked across the floor, and Mal shuddered.

Natara.

He moved around his desk and searched for his partner. "Natara!" Where was she? A bubble of panic began to expand in his chest, and he could only assume the worst.

"Somebody please, help us!" Mal's heart dropped to his toes as he heard Jackson cry out from behind Natara's desk. He crossed the room in a few strides, and the scene in front of him made him feel physically ill.

Natara was frighteningly pale and covered in blood. Jackson glanced up at him with fear in his eyes as he clutched Natara's hand.

"Please, you have to save her," he plead. Mal dropped to his knees and searched her body for the source of the bleeding, quickly identifying it as a gunshot wound just above her heart. A sickening amount of blood poured from the wound with each beat of her heart, and Mal quickly placed his hands firmly against the wound.

"don't you dare die on me, Natara Williams," he growled. Natara's eyes cracked open the tiniest bit and focused on Jackson after a few seconds.

"Jack..." she rasped, reaching for him with her other hand. Jackson lowered her hand again and stroked her face gently.

"I'm here, Nat," he soothed her. "You're going to be fine. I promise." Her head lolled to the side, and she met Mal's gaze for a second. Her eyes began to roll up into her head, and Mal pressed down harder on the wound, shuddering as her blood coated his hands.

"Love...you..." Mal watched in horror as she took one last shuddering breath before her chest stopped moving altogether.

"No!" Jackson cried, slapping her face a few time. "Come on, Natara! Wake up!" Mal began pumping his hand furiously over her heart. He quickly pinched her nose shut, placed his mouth over hers and blew sharply. He almost gagged; her lips tasted metallic and coppery, nothing at all like they should have. He continued to perform CPR on her, even though in his heart he knew she was gone.


	3. Boom

Title: Boom  
>Words: 681<p>

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><p>Mal grinned goofily at Natara as the suspect was led through the bullpen. She rolled her eyes in response, but smiled in spite of herself as she sat down at her desk. She began to work on paperwork when Mal leaned against her desk.<p>

"So, Natara," he said, pretending to speak into a microphone, "now that you've caught the suspect, what are you going to do now?"Mal held the pretend microphone in her face. She glanced at it for a second then smirked at Mal.

"Work on paperwork."

"Wrong!" Mal said, taking the pen from her hand and replacing it in the cup she kept it in. "The correct answer was 'Go out for a drink with my partner'." Natara rolled her eyes at him again.

"And who, pray tell, is going to stay here and interrogate our suspect?"

"Well..."

"If you say me, so help me God, I will tase you in the face."

"Actually, I was going to let you go home and rest," Mal smiled at her. "Go and relax for a bit, maybe do something for yourself. I can handle ol' what's-his-face Higgins on my own." Natara grinned her thanks and left as Mal headed down the hall to talk with the suspect.

As soon as she got in the door, Natara dropped her purse on the floor and made a beeline for the fridge. Glancing at the remaining food she had left in there, she made a mental note to go shopping that weekend. Deciding to enjoy a hot bath instead, she closed the fridge and went to search for the bath salts Neha had sent to her for her birthday.

Mal barreled through the station doors, flagging down a taxi as he ran down the steps. He yanked the door open and jumped in as fast as he could.

"423 Mariposa!" He ordered the driver before he even closed the door. "Go! Now!" The driver floored the pedal and sped off. Mal dialed Natara's number quickly, praying she would pick up and swearing when she didn't. The taxi turned the corner, and Mal's stomach dropped when he saw the amount of traffic. He threw a wad of bills in the driver's direction and shouldered the door open.

"Keep the change!" he called over his shoulder. He sprinted down the street, his phone held securely to his ear.

Sighing in annoyance, Natara picked up her phone.

"What is it, Mal?" she snapped at him.

"Higgins isn't the killer!" he warned her, out of breath. His lungs burned for air and his legs ached, but he kept pushing himself forward. He could see her apartment, now. He had to get to her first.

"What?"

"Higgins isn't the killer! The killer's still out there!" There was a series of sharp beeps from the direction of the kitchen, and Natara spun in horror, her phone still glued to her ear.

The explosion rocked the earth and threw Mal off his feet. He head cracked painfully against the concrete sidewalk, and he shielded his face with his arm as glass and pieces of the framework rained down on the street. He picked himself back up, ignoring the sharp throbbing in his head, and stared up at Natara's apartment.

"Natara!" he cried. The roar of the fire filled the air as red and orange flames licked the remnants of the building, black smoke billowing up into the sky. The sounds of sirens filled the air as people screamed and looked on with shocked expressions.

A piece of burning paper fluttered down and landed at Mal's feet. He stamped out the fire before picking it up. It was a picture of the two of them at the last station picnic. Mal clutched the photo close and looked back up at the burning building in horror.


	4. Till Death Do Us Part

_Alright, so I didn't get any reviews for the last chapter so far. It made me cry a little inside. Not really, but I was hoping to guilt trip you guys into reviewing this chapter. And look at it this way: after this, Natara only dies one more time and then I let her live!_

_Title: Till Death Do Us Part  
>Pairing: MalNatara  
>Words: 545<em>

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><p>Mal sat by Natara's bedside, holding her hand in between both of his. The hospice people had set up a hospital bed in the corner of their living room, and that's where they knew Natara would spend her last days. Her breathing was heavy and sporadic, and Mal grew more and more concerned with each passing second. He couldn't believe it. She had fought so hard for so long, and now her fight was going to end like this. He knew, deep in his heart, that he didn't have much time left with her.<p>

Natara knew it, too. They had caught the cancer too late. It had already spread too far, and the only thing they could do was let it run its course. She had come to accept her inevitable death in the following months, and now here she was, on her deathbed.

She squeezed Mal's hand, and he was alert in an instant. She slowly turned her head, wincing at the pain it caused. Mal stroked her hair a few times then pressed a kiss to her hand.

"What do you think Heaven's like?" she asked, her glassy eyes focused on something past his head rather than on his face. Mal choked down a sob and had to clear his throat before he could answer.

"I... I don't know," he said shakily. Natara blinked slowly a few times, her eyes focusing back on his face.

"Make something up," she said, gripping his hand as hard as she could. Mal swallowed as he felt how feeble her grip had become.

"Uh, well, I imagine it's a lot like the earth," he began, sitting up straighter. "I think that there are houses and stores and all sorts of things to do, only you never have to pay for anything. People don't run rampant, so there's no use for a police force, and everyone's happy. No one cries. They're not even allowed to be sad." Natara smiled at him.

"That sounds nice..." she trailed off, closing her eyes. Mal felt panic rise inside of him until she opened her eyes again. "I love you. You know that, right?" Mal nodded, blinking back his tears. Natara smiled again.

"Good. Don't forget that, even when I'm gone." Mal nodded, pressing his eyes closed. He stood and placed a gentle kiss on her forehead, then wiped her tears away with his thumb.

"Promise you'll wait for me in Heaven?" he asked her.

"Of course," she whispered. Mal smiled through his tears and sat back down. Her hand was still clutching in his, and he watched as her eyes closed. After making sure she was still breathing, Mal laid his head down next to her hand and let his eyes slowly drift closed.

When he woke up again, hours later, it was dark out. He blinked a few times as he tried to orient himself. He looked up at Natara's still form, and he realized how ice cold her hand was. Her face was blank and serene, and her chest wasn't moving. Mal felt his face crumple as he began to sob.

"Oh, Natara."


	5. He Never Saw It Coming

**I GOT MY FIRST COLLEGE ACCEPTANCE GUYS! I'M SO EXCITED AND HAPPY THAT I MIGHT CRY!**

**Oh, and to one of my readers out there (you know who you are), if you apologize one more time for something that isn't your fault at all... I'm not quite sure what I'll do, but it *will* involve paint and whipped cream. You've been warned.**

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><p>He never even saw it coming.<p>

It was supposed to be just a normal morning. Mal had woken up, gotten ready for work and bought two coffees at the coffe shop down the street. He drove five minutes to the apartment that Natara now shared with Oscar, handed her a coffee as she got into his car, and drove thirteen minutes from there to the station.

Once there, they worked on paperwork for a while, until Captain Yeong told them to go question a suspect. They got back into Mal's car and drove for twenty-two minutes to where the suspect lived, all the while joking around and teasing each other.

Mal had expected it to be just a routine questioning. He expected they would ask a few questions and then either arrest the guy if they needed to or let him go. However, Mal hadn't counted on finding thousands of dollars worth of drugs, or the suspect being high. He hadn't counted on the guy launching himself at them.

He managed to get the man under control and searched him, found several guns, bags of coke and blood on his shirt. Natara called the incident in as Mal jerked the man to his feet and began to Mirandize him.

Natara saw the knife before Mal did, and by the time he saw the glint of silver Natara had already launched herself forward.

"Mal, _move!_"

He hadn't counted on being shoved out of the way. He hadn't planned on hearing a pained cry that made the world fall out from beneath his feet.

Natara grabbed at her chest, from which the knife protruded.

Mal heard himself scream, felt himself pull his gun. His vision went red.

By the time it returned, the suspect was on the ground, four bullet holes in his chest on one through the center of his forehead. He started to holster his gun, but a pained moan jolted him back to his surroundings. As quickly as he could, he radioed for help before dropping to his knees beside his partner.

"Mal..." Natara groaned. He only hesitated a moment before ripping his jacket off and holding it against the wound. The amount of blood pooling on the ground beneath was beginning to terrify Mal. The knife stuck out at an awkward angle, but he knew better than to try and remove it.

He slid his free hand under her head, lifting it gently. "Hang on, Natara. Help is coming." She nodded as best she could and gripped his hand. Her features were filled with pain and some confusion.

"What the hell were you thinking, Natara?" he growled. He strained his ears, listening to the sirens that were slowly growing louder with each second.

She managed a half smile. "Had to... save my partner..."

"I didn't need to be saved!"

"Mal..." She managed a weak smile for him. "I'm gonna be fine..." But her eyes started to close, and her hand slipped a fraction of an inch.

"Natara!" Mal cried in a panic, pressing down harder on the wound. She forced her eyes open and focused her fading sight on Mal's face.

"They're almost here," he promised her. "Just hold on for a little while longer." She nodded again, but his voice was already so far away.

"Mal..."

"I'm right here." She forced her eyes open once more and looked him straight in the eye.

"I love you..."

Mal never let go of her hand as the paramedics ripped her from his arms and loaded her onto a stretcher. He still held her hand as they went flying down the road in the direction of the nearest hospital. He still held her hand, even as he heard the steady whine of the heart monitor. The only time he let go of her hand was when they arrived at the hospital, when they brought her into the part of it where only doctors were allowed.

He paced around the tiny waiting room like a caged animal. Natara would pull through, he assured himself. "She was a fighter. She had to be okay. She was going to get better, and he would finally tell her how he felt. There was no way she was allowed to tell him something like that and then just die. He had to tell her too.

It was two hours later when a man wearing dark blue scrubs appeared throught the doors. Mal looked up at the sound of footsteps on the linoleum floor, and his stomach dropped to his toes when he saw the amount of blood spattered across his shirt.

"Friends of Natara Williams?" Mal shot to his feet and was the first one there.

"Is she okay?" he demanded. "Can we see her?" He felt Amy, Kai, Ken and Captain Yeong step up behind him. The doctor sighed and took off his scrub cap.

"Ms. Williams suffered massive damage to her heart and lung," he began. "She had already lost a lot of blood by the time she got here. We tried to repair the damage while simultaneously transfusing her with more blood, but... I'm sorry. She experienced cardiac arrest while on the table. Please know that we did everything we could."

Mal was sure that the world had stopped spinning. He closed his watering eyes and pressed a fist to his mouth. That was it. Natara was gone. He would never get to see her smile or hear her laugh ever again.

"I love you too," he whispered under his breath. "I love you, Natara."


	6. Chapter 6

**I apologize for disappearing for a while there. The only explanation I can give is college crap, high school crap, and life.**

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><p>Natara sat in the passenger seat of Mal's car, silently going over files from their current case. He glanced over at her as she sucked on the inside of her cheek and smiled. He wouldn't have pegged himself as the guy who fell in love with another cop, and yet that happened anyway. He adored Natara and everything she did, from sucking on the inside of her cheek when she was thinking, to the cute little snore she had (the one she had no clue about). Natara looked up as she felt his eyes on her.<p>

"What?" she asked dryly, fighting the smirk that tugged at her lips.

"No, nothing," Mal said. "It's just that even when you're out of work, you're still working."

"So?"

"So don't you ever want to spend time with your awesomely amazing boyfriend?" Mal grinned at her and she rolled her eyes. Closing the file and placing it on the dashboard, she turned in her seat to face him and tucked her legs up onto the seat.

"So, my awesomely amazing boyfriend," she said, "what do you want to talk about?"

"How's life?" Mal asked with a smirk. Natara tipped her head back and laughed.

"Mal, we spend every minute of every day together. You know exactly how my life is." Mal grinned again and took a left. Natara looked around in surprise for a second, glanced out the back window, then turned back to Mal.

"Umm... where are we going?" she asked. "Home's that way." She pointed in the opposite direction.

"I know. We're just taking a little detour." She frowned at him and faced forward again. They were heading toward the marina, which made no sense at all. Why would Mal want to go there? She watched the buildings and trees fly by, listening to the soft music playing on the radio. She'd never admit it to anyone but Mal, but she loved classical music. She loved listening to symphonies, especially. She wasn't quite sure what it was; maybe it was all the instruments coming together. Individually their parts were beautiful, but when they all worked together, it transformed into something wonderful and almost magical. She closed her eyes.

There was so much noise, all at once, so many things happening. An overture of a horn blaring, a symphony of popping, a chorus of popping, and aria of exploding, the clapping of metal into trees. Then it all went quiet, except for the music, still playing in the background.

_She was plodding through a dark tunnel. Or, rather, not a tunnel. Just through darkness. It surrounded her and pressed against her, making it claustrophobic and difficult to breathe. Suddenly, the ground, or whatever it was, dropped out from underneath her and she found her self falling, falling falling. Spiraling down into a foamy sea the color of Mal's eyes. The blackness above her exploded into a white sky with yellow and pink clouds. She floated there on her back, and watched as they came. All the people she ever loved, soaring through the sky with the birds. Neha. Her mother. Her father. Shawn. Oscar. Various high school and college boy friends._

_She felt hands tugging her down into the depths of the dark water. Mal swooped down and grabbed hold of her arm, trying to pull her back up. But the other hands, her enemies, were winning._

_"Mal let go!" Because if he didn't, he would be dragged down with her. The hands pulled her deeper and deeper into the water. Everything slowly faded out. Blue turned to black, warmth turned to cold, sounds turned to silence. And still she was dragged deeper and deeper, growing more and more uncomfortable by the second. Pain, confusion and fear fought their way to the forefront of her mind._

Natara opened her eyes. The stark white room shocked her, and her eyes immediately snapped closed again, then slowly opened again, adjusting to the light. Her entire body felt cold and stiff, and she was aware of the various tubes they had stuck in her. She wanted noting more than to rip the oxygen tube out, to unplug the monitors and unhook the IV drip, but just thinking about doing all that exhausted her.

Mal.

Panic hit her like a ton of bricks and settled into her every molecule as she remembered that Mal had been driving. Adrenaline coursed through her veins, and she began to thrash about on the bed. She clawed at the tubes and wires, not realizing she was screaming savagely and calling Mal's name. Several people in white lab coats rushed in and attempted to pin her to the bed. One stabbed a syringe into her IV. A terrible chill ran through her and she tried to fight the drugs are her muscles went limp and her eyes slid closed again.

When she came to again, Her muscles were even stiffer than before and it felt as if she'd been sleeping for a week. She turned her head to the side and was relieved to see Mal dozing in a wheelchair by the side of her bed. He was slumped over on her bed, his arm thrown across her legs, and the glint of a ring on her left hand caught her eye. She smiled sleepily and raised her hand to touch his head. As soon as her fingers came in contact with his head, he jerked awake. He blinked sleepily at her as he tried to orient himself, then realized what was going on. In the next instant he had her wrapped in a hug as best he could.

"Don't you _ever _scare me like that again," he growled fiercely in her ear. He crushed her lips with his, then held on to her hand as if he'd never let go.

"Trust me, I don't plan to," she smiled at him.


End file.
